I recently found a new candidate for "Most petty reason why someone gets killed in the Bible". My favorite part about this new passage - as opposed to my previous "most petty reason" in Numbers 15:32-36 - is that my this passage is from the New Testament, after "gentle Jesus, meek and mild" comes along. The passage I'm referring to is Acts 5:1-11.
In this passage a man named Ananias has sold a piece of his land, and with his wife's approval, kept some of the money for himself and brought the rest to the apostles. A select few translations claim that Ananias told the apostles that he had brought the full amount that he had gotten from the land, though most translations make no mention of this (presumably because Yhwh forgot where he left the "power of tongues" and hash't been able to figure out how to produce a faithful translation into English without it). Regardless, I think the story makes more sense with that claim included.
Now Peter was a man ahead of his time... by which I mean he managed to turn into a TV Evangelist some 1900 years before the invention of the modern television. When Ananias brings him the money, he's furious that it's not the full amount! He demands to know what Ananias "let Satan fill his heart", accuses him of lying to Yhwh (presumably by claiming that it's the full amount when it wasn't), and miraculously strikes him dead. Three hours later, his wife comes in and suffers the same fate.
The passage ends: "Great fear gripped the entire church and everyone else who heard what had happened."
Frankly, there are so many things wrong with this passage that it's hard to know where to start... ok here we go:
1) This man was put to death for a good deed and a petty lie.This man just gave the apostles a presumably very large sum of money! Who cares that he kept a bit for himself? Let's put this into the real world: One day a stranger walks up to you and hands you $20,000 saying "hey I just sold some land, and I want you to have all the money I got from selling it." Do you care whether he sold the land for $20,000 or $20 million?
Let's go one step further: suppose you know that he sold the land for $50,000 and you decide to call him out on it which do you say:
"How dare you tell me that you sold the land for $20,000 when I know you sold it for $50,000! Sure you didn't owe me anything at all, and I had no reason to expect anything from you, but I'd ought to strike you dead for this!"
or
"Hey, I heard that you sold the land for $50,000. It's cool and all, I mean I'm not one to check a gift horse... but you know you don't have to exaggerate your good deeds to make yourself feel better, right? I got $20,000 that I didn't have coming. Own the things you do, man. Thanks a lot."
The moral of the story, there's no justification for striking a man and his wife dead for exaggerating about a good deed.
2) This is Peter we're talking about. You know, the guy that Jesus told "you will deny that you know me" in Mark 14, says right to Jesus' face "Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!", and then goes and denies him 3 times that night. Yeah that guy! Look who's all high and might now! Here he is striking people dead for "lying to god" when he lied to his deity's face without flinching. So much for the whole "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" bit right? (In fairness, that last passage wasn't written until about 400 CE so Peter never even heard of such a passage.)
3) The underlying tone of the whole passage is "If you don't give us every penny that you can, you will have reason to fear for your life." It's almost uncanny how this passage appears to be the ancient predecessor of TV Evangelism...
This has been your Sunday Sermon, go without god.
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